A One-Woman Show

Written by and Starring Ginger Goldman

Directed by Ginger Goldman and Jason Morgan

Presented at The Pocket Sandwich Theatre

November 9, 2004

Ginger Goldman earned a master's degree from Texas Woman's University with her solo show Francine's Mitzvahs. If there's any justice, she should get a career out of it as well.

The show, which made its second one-night appearance at the Pocket Sandwich Theatre on Wednesday – back by popular demand after its debut last fall – is like a résumé for Ms. Goldman, who's brimming with talents and characters.

She sketches a semiautobiographical portrait of Francine Silverberg, a Jewish girl from Galveston who's grown up to be a motivational speaker with a heavy Texas accent ("Shalom, y'all!"). She specializes in "edu-kye-tional" raps for kids at her temple. Performing with her is her longtime friend Brad Levy, also known as "MC Passover."

The collision of hip-hop and Jewish sensibilities proves delightful. And Francine insists the affinity is a natural one: "It's no coincidence 'Yo' backwards spells 'Oy.' "

Other characters we meet in the first half include Pearlie, the Silverbergs' aged black housekeeper; Bethany, an ostentatiously Christian party planner ("I was meant to beautify everything around me") who's dying to land her first bat mitzvah but can't stop praising Jesus; Francine's mom and dad; and Heidi, a menacing German exchange student who brags about her "leather linens."

Then there's Stephanie, Francine's drug-addled best friend; Missy, the ferocious mother of a rival cheerleader; and a howler of a driver's ed teacher, who insists that his students "Thank God almighty every time you make it out of a car alive." With a few accessories and changes of accent and posture, Ms. Goldman brings them all vividly to life.

But Francine is the most vivid of all. Swinging her blond locks and breaking into irrepressible cheerleader hops, she's a real treasure. Poor Francine has bad luck with the opposite sex, though. One of her boyfriends dumps her because she's "too perky." Then she meets Brad, a wannabe "pimp" who's really even sweeter than she is, but they stay "just friends."

After intermission, Ms. Goldman went for some straight-up stand-up, mocking her own love life's parallels with Francine's. "I'm 27 and I've never had a boyfriend and I don't have one now," she states. "I'm really just looking for a mammal." Her description of the contemporary dating scene, with its emphasis on "hanging out" in large and increasingly drunken groups, is both funny and sad. She's even forced to be jealous of her mother, who's an "MILF" – and that's not Yiddish. It means boys come over and hit on Mom first.

Just one night for this? The place was packed. Folks were turned away in droves. "Ah truly hope that ah've insparred y'all to-dye," Francine says. Let's hope she's "insparred" Pocket to sign her up for a longer run.